There seems to never be any down time anymore. I work all day, then try to hang out with friends at night. Then the time will come in a few short months when i will be gone, gone to college, and away form my family and friends. My mom seems to already feel the stress of me leaving, she does not want to let me go, so she tries to pull me in, when all i want to do is let go.
When i should be able to branch out and start to leave the "nest" i get my leash pulled even tighter by my mom. It really frustates the both of us, so then we clash and fight. Which is something that i dont want to to so close to me leaving, but it seems to happen. Then if she can not restrain me, she tries to restrain my brother.... which is not good. She cant win it seems. But idk waht to do i want to fly and be free and she wants her little girl back that did everything with her and for her. But i just cant be that anymore, i want to do things for me, that kinds sounds selfish but it is kinds true, i feel like i always do things for others but harldy ever for me. So that is why i just want to do what i want when i want.
LET IT ALL JUST BEGIN NOW!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
what do you want your fututre to be like?
So i was confronted with is question the other day, and honestly i did not have a clear answer for it. And, not having an amswer kinds scared me, i mean i am about to go to college and get a degree that might be my life long occupation adn i dont really know what i truely want to do with it. SCARY! SO now i got to really thinking about it and here is what i have come up with far:
Go to college. DUH! I really want to be involed in my school, i want to be able to say that i really did everything there is to do at UTA. I want to be a wonderful student and be able to handle all the stress that comes along with being a college student with class. I want to feel a part of my school but also feel like i left that school with something that helped it become better.
After college. I want a job that i feel comfortable coming to everyday. Yes, it will be something civil related, but i want hands on, out of the office work. Not desk, sit and look over papers. I want a flexible schedule. Like i could work at home some days without coming to the office for 8 hours a day. I know that is like a occupation dream, byt i can find it....right?
Family life. I want to be married in my early to late 20's to a guy that loves me for me and all my flaws. I want him to love the lord and understand why i waited till marriege to have sex. I want him to be happy with where he his in life and knows where he will be going in life down the road. A best friend to me, but still has his own life, i really dont want to share every part of my life with him and same with him. Sometimes a little off on your own doing your own thing is good.
I want two or three kids, but i have always wanted to adopt one, an asian girl, and i have always wanted twins too! I want to be involed in my kids lives, but let them do thier own thing. I want to culture them, but also so them reality and real life as well. Well rounded and filled with life is what i want my kids to be. They need to love the lord and know they are blessed with all that have and for what they are given.
That is all i have so far. i know there is prob so much that i am missing! lol but it will come to be the more i think about it.
Go to college. DUH! I really want to be involed in my school, i want to be able to say that i really did everything there is to do at UTA. I want to be a wonderful student and be able to handle all the stress that comes along with being a college student with class. I want to feel a part of my school but also feel like i left that school with something that helped it become better.
After college. I want a job that i feel comfortable coming to everyday. Yes, it will be something civil related, but i want hands on, out of the office work. Not desk, sit and look over papers. I want a flexible schedule. Like i could work at home some days without coming to the office for 8 hours a day. I know that is like a occupation dream, byt i can find it....right?
Family life. I want to be married in my early to late 20's to a guy that loves me for me and all my flaws. I want him to love the lord and understand why i waited till marriege to have sex. I want him to be happy with where he his in life and knows where he will be going in life down the road. A best friend to me, but still has his own life, i really dont want to share every part of my life with him and same with him. Sometimes a little off on your own doing your own thing is good.
I want two or three kids, but i have always wanted to adopt one, an asian girl, and i have always wanted twins too! I want to be involed in my kids lives, but let them do thier own thing. I want to culture them, but also so them reality and real life as well. Well rounded and filled with life is what i want my kids to be. They need to love the lord and know they are blessed with all that have and for what they are given.
That is all i have so far. i know there is prob so much that i am missing! lol but it will come to be the more i think about it.
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